Brool brool (n.) : a low roar; a deep murmur or humming

Online Traffic School

 |  life

I’m digging this online traffic safety stuff.

I’m taking a traffic safety course in order to get rid of my horribly unjust ticket, and I decided to do it online. It rocks, at least in terms of getting-me-through-quickly, as opposed to making-me-learn-something. I whipped through the entire course in about two hours, the proctored exam takes an hour, so for three hours of effort you end up removing a point from your record — really, how can you beat it?

But, the people who do this test must be a little strange. They wander from assuming the audience are raving idiots:

Question: What is the first thing you do after an accident?
Answer: Stop.

… to assuming they’re brilliant physics majors…

Question: It takes 100 feet for a car travelling 35mph to stop. How many feet will it take a car travelling 50mph? Possible answers are 100, 150, 200, 250
Answer: 200 feet. (You see, it’s not a linear relationship with speed)

There are some segments in the test that make you wonder what the hell they think they’re trying to say:

…so the safe thing to do on a freeway is to change lanes all the time? Never get on it? What message do they think they’re communicating?

Drama, People

Since I can put a reasonably grammatical sentence together after a couple of false starts, I arrogantly believe that I can improve on other people’s stories. But, really, they could spice up their curriculum and make it more educational. For example, listen to the sad story of Mary:

We can see the story arc, no?

And, finally…

Huh? We were building up to this classically tragic tale, and instead it’s entirely anticlimactic: in her hubris, Mary had decided that she was immortal, had made bad driving choices, and the gods decided to punish her by… giving her a bad habit? Now, the story would have been much more memorable with:

Now, that’s a lesson that will be remembered.


Comments are moderated whenever I remember that I have a blog.

JoshuaTraffic | 2011-11-16 04:35:53
Humorous post, but also very true. The driving tests for California can be confusing at times, although the online traffic schools are not usually owned by the government. As a smart driver in California, we must do the research and study the best we can to make the safest decisions on the road. Thanks for posting about Online Traffic School and good luck to you in the future. <a href="" rel="nofollow">California Traffic School Online</a>
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